ashley magnus

[panicswitched]

active name: • ashley magnus nicknames: • ashley, ash age: • 23 date of birth: • december 08, 1985 eyes: • blue hair: • blonde height: • canon: • sanctuary occupation: • hometown: • old city ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

TEXT | VOICE | VISUAL | CALL | PHONE TAG | ACTION

Code by bannertech.

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IT'S BEAUTIFUL ♥

[panicswitched]

[ she isn't supposed to be here.

ashley knows that as soon as she lands. she's still in that awful outfit, as though she'd teleported straight from the main lab up here. but she couldn't have. she's not supposed to have made it out.

she's supposed to be dead, because if she isn't, neither is that other girl, and if that's true, they're all screwed.

at least she recognizes where she is and has the presence of mind to do so. that's a plus. sort of. it's unnerving. she can remember everything and now that her senses are all kinds of buffed, she's more aware of everything around her.

and everything she's done.

even so, she isn't aware of her mother's presence until she hears her name in that voice. she wheels around, barely daring to believe her eyes, hardly daring to breathe. part of her wants so much to believe that her mother is standing there, that she can run to helen and have her make it all go away. but she knows she can't.

as long as she's alive, her mother is in danger. ]

...Mom...

[ she finally manages to force out one word, her voice catching in the back of her throat as she chokes on a sob. this isn't how it was supposed to be. none of it. this isn't supposed to happen.

she isn't supposed to be here and she takes a step backwards, a silent warning to her mother not to come any closer. ]

MY HEART THO

[longevities]

[ she was dead. her beautiful, brave girl had died all those months ago. helen had went through the loss; felt the denial, and that suffocating, bitter acceptance. she had steeled herself, carried herself strong ( loss wasn't new to her. except that this especially wasn't the sort that went down easily. )

she wasn't ready to see this, and she's letting out a breath ( surprised she was even holding one ). there's sentiment and logic and she isn't sure which she should listen to first. reason had always been a stable choice, especially when one made a point of keeping emotions under firm control for the sake of a clear mind.

but she wanted nothing more on this earth right now than to run to her girl and hold her and know that she is real. apologize over and over again for not being able to save her as she mothers were supposed to do.

what mother outlives their child? helen knew that her own abnormality made her an exception, but that wasn't how it should've ended.

and here ashley was, again, dressed in that damned suit. and then she calls out to helen and takes a step back and emotion claws at helens throat to the point of pain, but all she can force herself to do is bite that down.

because it wasn't about her. it was about ashley and despite the unspoken warning, helen is taking a stride forward. quick and sharp even though she doesn't feel all that stable at all. ] How - ?

[ she wants to reach for her. wants to take her hand, touch her shoulder - anything - that would prove to her that this is no cruel hallucination. because if she is real, there is no risk helen would be unwilling to take to make it right this time.

and she's raising her hand, taking another step closer. ]

IT'S BREAKING MINE, TOO, DON'T WORRY

[panicswitched]

[ for a moment, they stood there facing each other, completely oblivious to anything else that was happening. if she'd been able to, ashley would have tried teleporting again. though she wasn't entirely sure where she would choose, she knew she needed to get out of that office.

she isn't sure she can deal with this. not so soon.

she takes another step backwards as helen reaches for her, shaking her head in an effort to keep them separate. but she's sluggish, as though something's not quite right. her mind is there. maybe it's an effect of having the cabal's control stripped from her, though that seems more than a little like wishful thinking.

her mother's hand brushes her before she can stop either of them and for a moment ashley stands rigid, tears in her eyes as she swallows hard and fights the fear welling up in her. it's not fear for herself. she doesn't care what happens to herself now. she's worried about her mother, about what might happen if or when the cabal get control of her again.

being here, seeing her mother again... it's wonderful, but it isn't worth the risk. ]

I can't... [ she chokes, dragging air into her lungs on a sob. ] I don't want to hurt you.

[ stop making this so hard.

another step back as that hand brushes her shoulder this time.

telling herself it isn't worth the risk is getting harder and harder. ]